HEY this is Barbara again, I wanted to become a scuba diver, then I got stricken with something called Fibromaylgia. There's
a FibroHellMichelle on YouTube & believe me, she sounds just like I have for the past 20 yrs. It's been a living hell & what
makes the pain even more unbearable is that nobody in my family believes that I'm really sick. Even though all my kids know
who did all the work when they were little. I had 6 kids, I did all the cooking, cleaning, everything, My cheat of a husband was
caught cheating on me, while I was home suffering in bed. That's what I've had to endure for years. There's not enough room
on here to tell you guys all the crap I've gone thru with my lousy family. My kids all feel sorry for themselves, instead of poor
Mom who's been sick. They don't care, if I live or die. I never get a card on any holiday or my birthday or Mother's day. Yet
I'm always hoping & praying that God will reach down & change them. But, they might not want to change. That's up to them.
God doesn't force anyone to believe in Him. He tries to persuade us, but Eternity is our choice.
I use to lose weight easy, after each baby was born. I was always in good shape. But with this Fibromyalgia & lymphedema it's been impossible to lose any weight. My heart hurts, I have severe pain & severe weakness. I've gained up to 270 lbs. Alot of that was because of the depression. Although, if I had love I'd never gained this much. When we have someone to love us, then we can face anything. Do y'all realize that? To the lady who lost her kids. No you didn't. Believe me, if he's a jerk they'll know it growing up & they'll come looking for you someday. Think about this...if you'd stayed with that jerk, they'd probably grow up to be just like him. Either way, if you live or you're separated from them, your kids will always come looking for
their mother. My ex took my kids once, and I ended up getting hives from my nerves. But I wish to God I'd let him keep
them, and I pursued my career in scuba diving, like I wanted. I'd been so much better off & happier, and they would have been fine. I'd seen them again & like I said, if your ex is a jerk, your kids will know it & they'll come looking for you. My kids would have loved me more, if I'd pursued a career & made myself happy.
Sometimes it's good to be separated, till we get ourselves together. Then we can do more things for our children & for
ourselves. We can't be happy, unless we're doing what makes us happy. I was a great mom, the best wife he could have ever
gotten, waited on him hand & foot, but something was missing. I wanted a career. I also wanted to fall in love. I was never in love with my ex husband. I didn't even like him. I know that sounds crazy, but I got out of my family fast, by jumping from the frying pan into the fire. When you're young & have sex, I dunno, for some reason we think we're in love. Just stupid kids having kids, then we wake up wondering why'd we ever get married.