I am turning 47 on June 9. For the last few years, I have had my regular periods. I have noticed the length changed, the blood was thinner, watery and not so dark. I just missed my first period last month. I am getting forgetful, tired and moody, I have headaches, swollen ankles and I noticed my skin looks thinner. I feel ugly, old and I fear those issues that comes with menopause, such as heart disease. Last Friday, I lost balance, I was not even ill. Shortly after that, my face numb, a strange feeling but soon went away. I worry about mini strokes, but a friend said it is menopause. I never thought I would experience anxiety as I went through the change. I can’t help thinking that I am in the end cycle of my life, not just my period.
My question is, "Is it normal for me to feel like I am heading to the end of my life and with the end of my period, am I going to suddenly age and have gray hair, old and wrinkled skin, bad bones and become unattractive to others?" I am so worried that I don't want to socialize and go to places anymore. I keep thinking people are looking at me differently, like "Hey, look at that old bag!"
I cry at a drop of a hat. I can’t seem to remember if I took my BB pill in the morning, this worries me because I don't want to take a second dose and have side effects. I am a healthy woman other than blood pressure. My pelvic exam in January revealed no problems.
One thing that worries me is being forgetful. I have this irrational fear, as it may be, that losing one’s memories is losing my entire life and I will not be remembered when I am gone. I am constantly writing my thoughts, feelings, stories and etc., for fear that I am going to be locked away by my own brain due to menopause and old age. Please help me understand what I need to do.